I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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