shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
