I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
