my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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