Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize