once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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