ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
