dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
