Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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