Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
