that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
