we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize