I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
