Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
