He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
