It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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