And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
