I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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