Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize