tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
