there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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