Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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