i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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