he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
