He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
