I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
