i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
