I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize