Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
