She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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