My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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