office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
