omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
