id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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