STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Can you bring me the toilet please
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
