and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
