I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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