Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
