Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
