Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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