So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Terrible idea I love it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
