i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
