I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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