At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Shame is for Republicans.
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