if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
pop tarts are not kleenex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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