So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
