Don't you send me to vm
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize