I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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