You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Let's get the cat blown out
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
