I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently the secret to your success is patron
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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