I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
