watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize