is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize