It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
