I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
