you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
