Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
