I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
